Page 6 - Los Angeles Vol 5 No 3

Silence is Golden
BY PHYLLIS POLLACK
Irecently rediscovered an article in the July 2018 ABA Journal titled, “Sounds of Silence” by Philip N. Meyer.
e ABA article notes that a pause at the right moment can be a very powerful tool. It cites an oral argu- ment in which the issue was whether the police had waited long enough af- ter knocking before entering an apart- ment to execute a search warrant. e police had waited 25 seconds, which the defense argued was insu cient. To make the point, counsel for the District of Columbia started the oral argument with, “May it please the court ....” He then paused, precisely 25 seconds, which to everyone else seemed like an eternity. As the appel- late judges were about to break the very uncomfortable silence, counsel began to speak, noting that the si- lence was the same 25 seconds that his client had waited before entering the apartment. Counsel had made his point and won the appeal. Id.
An article cited in the ABA article discusses the di erent uses of silence. In “‘Talk Less:’ Eloquent Silence in the Rhetoric of Lawyering,” Bret Rap- paport discusses one type of silence, what the Greeks called eloquent si- lence, a silence in which “... the non- speaker intends to be communicative by her silence, or ... to make an argu- ment.” Id.
TIME TO THINK
On a cognitive level, silence or pauses are important as they allow the brain to process and “think” about what is being said. While our System 1 thinking is automatic and thus does not require silence (and is also prone to mistakes), our System 2 being de- liberative, slow and methodical needs
the silence in which to work. It needs to take in what is being said and then process and evaluate it. Id. Rappaport cites one study that showed that the longer a teacher paused between ask- ing a question and picking a student for an answer, the more positive and thoughtful were the responses. Id.
ere are various types of eloquent silence. It may be a single pause be- fore a word or phrase (i.e., a pregnant pause) or the silence may occur af- ter a phrase or word (i.e., a dramatic pause.) Or the pause may occur both before and a er a phrase or group of words, which creates a “chunk.” Or, nally, the silence consists of simply saying nothing. Id.
An example of the pregnant pause was President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s famous statement, “ e only thing we have to fear is [3.5-second pause] fear itself.” Id. at pause just before the last two words had great e ect in calming a nation mired in the Great Depression.
In contrast, the dramatic pause oc- curs a er the important wording. It allows the listener to re ect on what was just said and to digest it. It allows the words to sink in with the listener. An example, Meyer referenced, was the eulogy that former President Obama gave for the Rev. Clementa Pinckney and eight parishioners killed by Dylann Roof at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina. A er he concluded his remarks, Obama waited 13 seconds to let his words sink in before slowly transitioning to a rendition of “Amazing Grace.”
NOTHING IS EVERYTHING
Placing a pause every so o en also has an e ect. Called “chunking,” the
pause is o en placed every seven words (plus or minus two) providing the needed emphasis to particular words. Id. e Pledge of Allegiance provides a good example:
“I pledge allegiance [pause] to the Flag [pause] of the Unit- ed States of America, [pause] and to the Republic [pause] for which it stands, [pause] one Na- tion [pause] under God [pause], indivisible, [pause] with liberty [pause] and justice for all.” Id.
To me, the most important elo-
quent silence is simply saying noth- ing. As many negotiators have learned, listening and saying nothing is key. Id. By staying silent and listen- ing, the other side will o en “leak” information either verbally or non- verbally through changes in voice and pitch. What I have found is that a well-placed silence — simply asking a question and letting it hang there, will make the other party uncom- fortable. Most people cannot tolerate silence for more than a few seconds and feel the need to ll the space and say something. O en what is said is the innermost fears, anxiety, frustra- tion or the real reason causing the dispute or impasse.
Silence cannot only be golden, but a very e ective means in getting to the heart of a matter quickly and thus, resolving it. By saying nothing, you will speak volumes.
... Just something to think about.
Phyllis G. Pollack Esq. is the princi- pal of PGP Mediation. She has been a mediator for nearly 20 years and con- ducted more than 1,800 mediations in all areas of the law. She can be reached at [email protected].
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